And just like that the vein in my neck started to pulsate. I sat their with a look of disbelief. Did I hear correctly? Are you asking me to address you by your title? You smug sob. How is your title relevant to the matter? Your attempt to postulate outside of the appropriate setting causes me to have absolutely zero respect for you. And now anything you say next will only be challenged and have zero value. So much for what I thought was going to be a mutual exchange of information.
This happened not long ago, when I had to go visit my son’s school over an incident which occurred in the classroom. I thought I was going to have an amicable discussion with the principal, but when I greeted her as Mrs_______, she stopped me in mid greeting and attempted to correct me by saying Dr.________. And that’s when it happened the grinding of the teeth and the pulsating of the vein in my neck. Her affront was a veiled attempt to manipulate the outcome of the private meeting. Politely I replied, “You can call me Alan, Mrs._______.” I could tell my reply didn’t sit well with her, but it was all I could do to keep me from exploding. The next time I wouldn’t be so passive.
Fast forward a few months later and it happened again, albeit the party involved was someone else. This time, however, the dragon within breathed fire.
It occurred when I received an email from someone regarding an article I wrote. There was nothing wrong with the body of the email, but what made me explode and reply with a scathing email was this person’s use of a title in their name, as if somehow it was going to leverage and legitimize what they were addressing. The fact this person held a substantial position of rank in the military had ZERO bearing on the article and there was no need to address themselves with their rank, considering this isn’t a military setting. To add insult to injury the email was generated from a yahoo account, or it might have been gmail; I don’t recall at the moment. And just like that, my teeth began to grind and the vein in my neck began to pulsate. Unlike the last time, however, this time I let the unsuspecting soul have it with both barrels blazing. Instead of addressing their remarks of the article, I began to pummel him with disparaging remarks for his use of his title. This person got a dressing down I’m sure he hasn’t experienced since basic training. As the email was sent through one of my colleagues, I was sure to cc him when I replied to this person. Not long after, I received an email from my colleague asking me what had happened, If I knew this person and why did I reply so harshly? My answer was I did not know this person, one. And two, I have no tolerance for people who try to manipulate myself, friends, or family using such subterfuge. Ah yes, the INTJ in me reared it’s ugly head.
If you want to communicate with an INTJ, approach us with facts, logic, and reason. Your title, social class, or rank mean nothing to us. Your use of title is seen as nothing more than a subversive tactic used to try and manipulate us, and garners instant disrespect from us and think you’re an idiot. And in my case, I will let you know. And once lost, respect can never be regained. We don’t care who kowtows to you, how many books you’ve written, or if you’ve been on TV. You may have a room full of puppets who follow you, but I assure you we are not one of them. Respect is earned, not demanded. Leave the hollier than thou attitude at the door and present yourself as a normal human being.
Now that you know I am an INTJ, it may help explain why I find folly in many of the musings of other survivalists. Most often, they are fraught with concepts and ideas lacking logic, sense, and reason.
If you would like to know your personality trait and help you understand why you are the way you are, check out the Myers Briggs test here, it’s free…. https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test